What watch would Father Christmas wear? It’s a question that’s plagued me in recent weeks. I can picture what his elves are rocking: little Audemars Piguet x Swatch watches (so if you had one of those on your list and it doesn’t materialise, take that as proof those sticky-fingered helpers have been keeping them for themselves).

But the big man himself – that’s a different matter. A Patek would get scratched as he slid down the chimney. A two-tone ‘Pepsi’ bezel would clash with his scarlet coat. An Audemars Piguet is a bit too extravagant for a man who is already clad in a pretty garish ensemble. With that white hair and silver beard – not unlike my own, now you mention it – Santa requires something that’s both effortless and timeless, the kind of watch you look like you were born wearing.

Why Santa needs a pilot’s watch

He’s also a man of the skies, so I think we’re looking at a pilot’s watch (divers are obviously a non-starter – who ever heard of Santa delivering presents beneath the ocean?). I considered some of the classic dual timers – the Rolex Sky-Dweller, or perhaps the exquisite Vacheron Constantin Overseas Dual Time – but I worried he’d be updating it every few seconds as he zips across time zones on his sled.

The vintage Heuer Airline GMT

Eventually I settled upon a timepiece I once owned and sadly had to part ways with many moons ago, when fate and bad budgeting got the better of me. Old Saint Nick would sport a vintage Heuer: the immaculate Heuer Airline GMT 896.513, to be precise. It’s a watch that feels especially relevant given that neovintage quartz is deservedly having its time in the sun again after many years in the cold (something Santa would be used to, living in the North Pole).

Black PVD and a world time bracelet

It would not be the flashy gold version worn by General Pushkin, Bond’s buddy in The Living Daylights, rather the super sexy black PVD one. It has a dual time function, which I suppose he could delegate to his elves, allowing him to keep track of Zulu Time when he’s dropping off socks in São Paulo or book vouchers in Bordeaux. What’s more, rather than the bracelet with the gold links, he would sport the uber-uber-uber-rare PVD world time version with the names of major capital cities and their GMT offsets engraved upon it.

Unlike us mere mortals, Santa’s timepiece would be, like him, preserved in aspic so it never ages. Its fragile 1980s coating would always be as dark as a traffic warden’s heart and as crisp as the frost on the day it left Switzerland. That’s how I imagine my old Airline GMT: as pristine as the day I parted ways with it.

A watch that tells a new story

Sadly I don’t think even Santa could reunite me with that piece of my past. But as any watch enthusiast knows, whatever timepiece you end up with on Christmas Day, from a humble Sekonda to the gaudiest of Hublots, it will become a new piece of history, developing fresh stories with each wear. Just try not to sell it – I still miss that Heuer, although it makes it a little easier to bear knowing it might be on the wrist of Santa Claus.